InsaneJournal

Tweak says, "the earth says hello!"

Envinyatar (envinyatar15) wrote,
@ 2008-03-27 07:43:00

Current music:	HIM [Beyond Redemption]
Entry tags:	rl, writing, wtf brain wtf

no one's gonna catch you when you fall...
So, since Sunday night I've been dreaming shit - not-quite-nightmares, like takes out of my life that never quite made it onto screen - and those dreams leave me all weirded out the next morning and for the rest of the day. On the one hand - it's good, because I'm the most creative when I've slept three-five hours; with not enough sleep to be be all sleepy again and not as little sleep as to feel overwhelmed by my tiredness.

On the other hand? I haven't slept at all this night and I'm preparing to head in to work. Nor have I really slept since Sunday - it's all been this dream-like state, not-quite-awake and not-quite-asleep, when sentences and scenes run through my head continuously and I can't ignore them for fear of losing this perfect wording that just flashed in front of my eyes.

I miss sleeping. I really, really do. But I also know that until I'm tired enough to crash I won't sleep fitfully again, and that? Is a scary thought.

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shiny_crystal
2008-03-27 08:30 am UTC (link)

Ouch, hon, that does sound awful! *huggles* Not sleeping properly is rather horrible, as I can tell from experience (right now, as it happens) as well >.> Hope your day at work won't be too stressful, and that you'll be able to sleep again soon! *huggles some more*

As an aside, have fun with the riding!Snupin-AU you posted about earlier, that sounds exactly like your thing and I'd be tempted to read it :D (I'm so behind on your stories it's not even funny, but RL and Latin have eaten my brain, I tell you >.> )

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envinyatar15
2008-03-27 10:43 am UTC (link)

It seems half of my friends - RL and fandom - has sleeping problems right about now. It's disconcerting! *clings*

I've been at work for one hour and 40 minutes, I've done all I can do, and I'm on my third coffee for today, heh. I'm tempted to just work some more on the riding!Snupin AU - it's more than 2K long by now, many scenes are running circles in my head trying for my attention, and after typing almost 3K in 12 hours my wrist hurts like a bitch. *bitches*

In other words, do you possibly have time this weekend? We need to meet up! :D If just to get the bad RL and Latin away from your brain and all. *nods decisively* (And don't worry about the reading, I'm not pushing you to read what I write!)

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shiny_crystal
2008-03-27 05:52 pm UTC (link)

Must be the season or something, don't know. But it sure as hell isn't pleasant.

Have you survived work alright? I'm just back from my Latin course and almost off again to watch Topmodel with Anna and possibly others (which has sort of become a weekly ritual, but don't ask me how *laughs*). As of now, I'm somewhat always away somewhere, but I think I fairly like it, more than sitting in front of my PC, anyway.

Hm, this weekend is quite fully booked already, but we definitely HAVE to meet up soon again (why, it's been AGES!). I might be free Sunday evening after work (i.e. 5.30 pm), IF I have to work. If not, I'm free on Sunday, whole day. Can I get back to you about that? Because apart from that, my time's startingly fully booked, and I'm in Prague next weekend on top of everything.

At any rate, I hope you enjoy writing your riding!Snupin-AU and of course that your wrist isn't hurting anymore ... You know I can emphasize with that very well >.> *huggles*

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envinyatar15
2008-03-28 06:34 am UTC (link)

I hear ya - I've been having this insomnia-like stuff since February, in two week cycles of one week not sleeping, one week sleeping way too much. It's unnerving :(

I crashed yesterday - totally didn't expect that, but yay! 14 hours of sleep. Feels gooooooood *g* I totally skipped GNT though. Need to catch the re-run on Sunday morning or something, it just won't do if I don't watch it at all!

Tell me if you have time - for me it's better later, because I don't know if I'll be in Paaren, the weather's gonna be good so maybe I'll ride out into the forest :P

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shiny_crystal
2008-03-28 07:53 am UTC (link)

Ugh, that's unpleasant indeed! *huggles* I hope it'll be over soon! And yay for 14 hours sleep!

Haha, you watch GNT as well? It caught me completely by surprise that I like it, but watching it with other girls is. So. Much. Fun. Hope you get a chance to see and enjoy this episode, I think they made some great photos, and the only thing that made Anna and me collectively cringe and whine was, as always, Giselle *laughs*

So, I'm definitely free in the evening, from 5.30 onwards. As to whether I have to work, I still don't know. My student said she'd call me, but so far, she hasn't. Anyways, if it's better for you later, that's perfectly fine. Name me any time from 5.30, and we can meet in the Sonntag or something =)

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	envinyatar15 2008-03-28 07:58 am UTC (link)
	Gotta leave for work, but how does 6-ish sound for you? In the Sonntag g And it's not Gina Lisa who makes you cringe? LMAO. I'd rather have Giselle (who I don't like either) than that stupid would-be girl. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

shiny_crystal
2008-03-28 08:17 am UTC (link)

6-ish sounds fine, I'll be there :D

Nah, not so much, actually. Okay, she is some sort of Barbie, but I like her new haircut better, and I somewhat like her "I don't give a damn what any of you think, I just do as I please, kthx" attitude, it's so refreshing among all these whining girlies (most of all Giselle ... I could hit the roof every time she opens her bloody mouth >.> )

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zebraspots05
2008-03-27 09:06 pm UTC (link)

The mother in me is all worried about you...sleep is necessary to function properly, you know. But I won't bug you about it, you have your own mother to do that!

Actually, you remind me of other artists: painters, musicians etc, who have a mental illness but don't want to take the meds to make them better, because it is the illness that gives them their creativity. Not that I am saying you have a mental illness!!!!

I am having dreams like you describe: not quite nightmares, but disturbing enough to make your day uneasy. The worst one I have recently was where I had to get off a bus, so I took my oldest and we left the bus. As it pulled away, I remembered that my baby was still on the bus in his car seat, so I spent the rest of the night, in multiple dreams, looking for him!

It is dreams like that which make me stay away from dark stories about kids...

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envinyatar15
2008-03-28 06:31 am UTC (link)

It's not like my mother would notice ;) Or rather, she knows I'm not sleeping well again, but she also knows that I won't take those pills she's taking when she can't sleep because they're very mild anti-depressants - my doctor expressively said I can take them, but I don't want to begin because I'm learning to deal with my moods. And I did crash yesterday - went to bed at 3PM and didn't emerge until 5:30AM, so all's good (except now I've lost my writing momentum!!! :( ). No need to worry, hon *hugs*

And this parallel to other artists etc. is totally there, except I'm nowhere as much of a bipolar case. I'm learning to write despite not really wanting to - it's just a matter of pushing myself. This cyclic stuff is just unnerving!

I had to get off a bus, so I took my oldest and we left the bus. As it pulled away, I remembered that my baby was still on the bus in his car seat, so I spent the rest of the night, in multiple dreams, looking for him!

OMG. I can totally see how that must have been awful! Especially when this dream sequence influenced all the following dreams... Eeep! Dreams/nightmares with such a close RL connection are really really the worst ones. I remember when I was small I had this dream where I was living with a family, and one day, the father came home and was a skeleton. That dream didn't really touch me that much because they were random people I didn't remember. These dreams right now - it takes me a minute to realise that no, they haven't really happened, and that's what makes them so difficult to deal with for me personally.

/ramble

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