the german pornstar

I'm exhausted.

Too many kids around me this week, which meant I had to go shopping to balance the eye-roll sarcasm and frustration they were causing, heh. On the first day, within two hours of being with the kids, I was asked about the colour of my underwear and whether I shaved my armpits. By a nine-year-old.

At least I had the day off today, which meant some lazing about. I'm trying to catch up on all the unanswered correspondence this weekend as well as get some damned fic writing in - I haven't written anything in two weeks, which is probably the longest time since... Oh, September? Whee.

You know what's the fun kind of Valentine's Day?

Knowing that you've got a panic attack coming on to you. My breathing has been all shallow these past two hours, which generally is the beginning for me.

It's parents' night with the parents of my schoolkids, and I'm fucking terrified. I'm in charge with the schoolchildren, which is alright with me; what's not alright is being 19 years old and having to tell parents twice my age something about their kids. I'm afraid the parents won't take me serious. I don't know them yet and I think they're going to be a somewhat difficult crowd.

Wah. Hold me. *smokes chain*

When I'm looking at a 7yo boy dressed up as a female clown in a circus show and thinking "o.o shiny, kinky stuff," there must be something wrong with me.

( some sex-related anecdotes from RL )

Also, I've been reading amazing fic in three fandoms (HP, SPN, dS) in my attempt to get my schedule cleared for December (OMG only six days!!!). And SPN RPS is made of luuuurve. Ack. Watch me become poly-fannish *sigh*

Which reminds me: the next SPN ep will air on December 13, y/y? And the one after that, 3.09, on my birthday, January 3??? God. That sucks. (Except for the birthday thing. That certainly doesn't! But, y'know, it only being 2 eps in a month and a half.)

So I started my new job today.

It was actually fun, though in the tiring sense :) I started at 10:30 AM, and my first "assignment" was to babysit an 11-months-old girl. She was quite cute and relatively easy to handle. Also, I didn't have to change her diapers or anything, the mother came by to do so :D

At 2PM the homework session with the schoolchildren started, until 4PM. Mainly I had to do English (yay! I think I managed to impress them...), German and maths, easy stuff since they're first- to sixth-graders. The only problem with them: they're children of immigrants (mainly Arabic and Turkish, I think), so there are some who don't speak a lot of German. Also, children at that age are continuously testing their boundaries, but I won't let them fuck with me. They tried today, but I think I did quite well with saying "Stop that right this second." At least for someone working there for the first time...

Monday a camera team will come and film us at the "neighbour station", for lack of a better description. askfdjhgasdfhg. NOT READY FOR THAT! Also, I don't particularly want to be filmed. Am totally too self-conscious. GAH!

I don't know what other things I'll have to do in the future, but I have until summer to figure that out.

Now I need to get writing because there are deadlines and my 200 words for mini_nanowrimo to be done. W00t.

ALSO: NaNo'ers, HAVE FUN AND MUCH... er, SUCCESS!!!