the german pornstar

Shadows in Light and Dark. Narcissa-centric genfic, featuring Andromeda, Bellatrix, Lucius, Harry, VOldemort and Draco. Rated R for some sneaky sexual themes. In times of war everyone has to choose sides. In the aftermath it might not be the one you would have seen yourself leaning to previously, but the intuitive decision of the moment, drawn from a mix of hope and desperation, often has a way of being the ultimately right one. This is totally my personal Narcissa canon.


My last couple of weeks were quite... eventful, I should say. Especially the weekend, ( when I went to Rostock with a friend to show her Azawakh bitch in a... show )

That's some of what happened. Not all of it - some of it I still have to figure out - but that which stands out most.

So. There is a new ficlet up: There Is Always Consolation, Remus/Severus, Sirius. G. 881 words. Summary: Time soothes all sorrows, they say, and There is always consolation. Hopeful angst, I guess.



Today is the first anniversary of Safi's death - it marks the day my whole life changed, and I can't really say for the better. I lost - actively as well as passively - so much, there are days when I can't breathe because of that fucking ache in my chest, let alone sleep.

But today was okay. I spent it with one of the Most Important People In My Life, and we went to a café, then to the Mauerpark where I used to walk the dogs, then to the Tiergarten where we - P and I - used to walk the dogs, and where I haven't been since... just a couple of weeks after Safi's death. It was... painful, but I could remember without it being too painful, which is more than when I went through the Mauerpark on Friday.

Anyway. I have hope for the future, and I hope I can regain what I was stupid enough to push away from me.

I'll just have to gather enough courage to make the first step.